Angry junta interrogators say solar powered testicle electrodes are 'unsustainable'

Angry junta interrogators say solar powered testicle electrodes are 'unsustainable'

Huawei Solar Powered base Station
It's green correctness gone mad, complained Yu Wan Sum Pal, one of the most respected members of North Korea's torturer community, as he waited for a solar panel to deliver its payload to a cowering pensioner.

Not fit for torture

With the best will in the world, a solar panel is never going to create enough juice to break anyone's spirit

His boss, Fu Ki Na Vim, agreed. "They've completely done our bollocks," said the torture supremo, "and that's what we're supposed to be doing to the clients."

Fu Ki Na Vim has run a value added torture service for three decades now. "Delivering sharp reminders to your gonads for 30 years" says the sign on the wall.

But now, he fears, the PC brigade may have neutralised his competitive advantage. "I'm getting out of the business soon, and I think it's the right time," he said. "None of these new officials understand the torture business."

Besides, he argued, how are you supposed to generate solar power when there are clouds in the sky? "That happens a lot these days," he said, "I blame global warming."

By Ron Seal

Torture rack Hans

Torture Rack

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