His boss, Fu Ki Na Vim, agreed. "They've completely done our bollocks," said the torture supremo, "and that's what we're supposed to be doing to the clients."

Fu Ki Na Vim has run a value added torture service for three decades now. "Delivering sharp reminders to your gonads for 30 years" says the sign on the wall.

But now, he fears, the PC brigade may have neutralised his competitive advantage. "I'm getting out of the business soon, and I think it's the right time," he said. "None of these new officials understand the torture business."

Besides, he argued, how are you supposed to generate solar power when there are clouds in the sky? "That happens a lot these days," he said, "I blame global warming."